Because I love you...

You might think that this is going to be a Valentine's Post since 'tis the season, but nope, that'll be next week! This is about something that's been on my mind for the last couple of weeks.  Its based on my thought...."It takes a strong parent to NOT give a child what they REALLY REALLY want because it doesn't serve them".  Let me elaborate.  I, by my negativity,(if you're not following, I believe that being negative about myself or situation, shows up in my body as illness) had created the perfect "breeding" ground for germs, therefore, I had been sick and then being in such close proximity to Aliya, got her sick.  I don't like to give my kids sugar when they're sick b/c sugar crushes your immune system, so when its already fighting something, I don't want to sabotage it.   But when my child is sick, and I see them suffering and not feeling well, I just melt and want to do anything and everything for them to take care of them and make them feel better.  Well, I had made cookies for our home teachers and had some left over that had been up in the cupboard.  Aliya saw them when I was getting bread out and she really wanted one.  She cried and threw a tantrum. She sounded SO pathetic, I almost gave in.  That's when I realized, I have a belief that I show my love to my family by giving them what they want.  Does anyone else have that same belief?  I started thinking about all of the instances when I let my family do things or have things and because I'm giving them XYZ or letting them do ____(fill in the blank) that I get the "Best Mommy/Wife" button to wear around proudly.  Hmmm....my thinking started going deeper and I thought of times when I didn't let them do what they wanted or have what they wanted and how hard it was for me NOT to give them whatever to make the "happy".  In those instances it was because I knew it would NOT be good for them or serve their bodies.  Again, the spirit must have been working on me b/c I then started thinking about God and his parenting skills.  Me, being in the position of the child and petitioning him for the things that I REALLY REALLY want, or at least THINK I want: I thought of what I had REALLY wanted in the past that would NOT have been good for me or the timing would have been horrible or  I could have been really hurt.  Because of my limited view of eternity, I had felt sorry for myself and felt that maybe I didn't deserve it or that He must not love me or trust me, when in reality, He just knew what was really best for me and would serve me the most and in the end give me the peace and love that I was REALLY asking for. I had to pause and thank him for not "giving in"!  So, using judgment, I get to do what's best for my kids, even when they are screaming, because giving in creates a monster in more than one way!  #1 It teaches that by using their drama, they get what they want. #2 That I care more about what my child thinks of me instead of what actually serves them.  Both of them can be REALLY tough but its worth it in the end...right!? ;)  I'm making slow progress...but I'll take whatever progress I can.  :D