From a Dad to his kids; Things I want you to Know!

Have you ever thought that if there was ONE THING I could teach my children it would be...

Well I have been thinking of that lately, so this is not in any particular order of importance, although number one is number one for a reason.  It is not only one thing that I want to teach you, but many things that I have grown to know over the years, that would serve you to be your best selves.

1. Jesus is the Christ.  He is the only Savior and the One who will be there for each of us, whether in sin, sorrow or pain.  I know that he is there for us personally because as I have been in deep anguish (at times), I have been able to turn to Him and He has given me comfort, peace, solace, guidance, and love.
2. You are a Child of God.  I don't mean figuratively, I mean just like I am your dad, God is our Heavenly Dad.  He created us spiritually, just like mom and I created you physically.  He loves you, just like you can feel that I love you, but His love is perfect and real and can be all encompassing if you let it.
3. You deserve His love and my love ALWAYS, no matter what you have done, you will feel like you cannot deserve His love because you have "messed up so much," but that is simply a belief, not a truth, nor an absolute.  He will always love you, just like I will always love you.
4. Happiness, Love, Kindness, Integrity, Honesty, Courage, Faith, Peace, Decency, Honor and all positive character traits are a choice. We can choose to love someone who does not share their love with us, we can choose to be happy when "life isn't fair."  We can choose to be kind when others are not kind to us or those we love and care about.  We can choose integrity when no-one else has any, we can choose to be honest when others choose to lie.  We can choose to have courage even when we are scared.  We can choose to have faith when the world around us is afraid of everything.  We can choose peace when the world is full of war.  We can choose decency where others would choose to be cruel and lewd. We can choose to act with honor and to treat others by honoring what they feel even if we choose other things, we do not need to honor them by doing what they do, just allowing them to do what they want without judgement.  Each of these attributes is a choice and as long as we remember that we are the creators of our destiny, then we are empowered to choose the better part, because we are not victims of circumstance.
5. Love your spouse more than you love yourself, serve them more than you serve yourself, with no thought or expectation of anything in return.  Believe in them as if they are already doing everything that they want and or you want them to do.  As you believe in them as if they already are, then they will become that very same thing.  Open her door for her always as a sign of respect and love.  Allow him to open your door, if he doesn't just wait, eventually he will clue in.  Do this every time for her or for him.  (This same thing can work for yourself too, believe in yourself as if you are already doing what you want to do, then you will achieve that very thing).  
6. You are empowered to choose the life you wish to live, and to learn the lessons that you wish to learn. Know that you are choosing to learn the lesson that life is sending your way right now.  What will you get out of it, or will you pretend that it is someone else's fault, and that you didn't really choose to learn this lesson?  Are you a victim?  Victims don't have the ability to change anyting, but someone who is empowered can change everything that is going on and change the outcome.  You are empowered to get the outcome in life that will best serve you.  If you know that you deserve to be loved than many will love you and surround you for that same love that you exude.
7. Live your life on purpose, not on accident.  Choose what you want, then start taking steps to achieve that goal.  I have been so impressed with all of the people that I know that set out to do something that seems too big to conquer, but then they achieve that goal.  They wrote down the goal and then started to work toward that goal.  If something isn't going the way you want it to, then change YOU so that you can start getting what you want.
8. Whatever you focus on is what you will get!  For example: if you don't want to be poor, then that is what you will be...poor, if you don't want to be mean, then that is what you will be...mean, however if you want to make a difference in the world, then surely you will.  If you want to be kind, then you will be kind.  It is not enough to NOT want something, because not wanting something is still focusing on what you (don't) want.
9. It is NEVER about the other person.  It is about what I deserve to learn, and how I deserve to grow. The other person may be a facilitator to assist us in our learning an important lesson.  These lessons, if not learned the first time will come back to allow us to learn them later, they may be much more forceful the second time around though.  But we can and will learn what we came her on earth to learn.  Forgive each other and forgive yourself.
10. Save more money than you spend.  Put some in a fund for a rainy day (a years worth is a great goal of spending or earnings (whichever is greater)), save other things too like; food, water, gasoline, ammunition, camping gear, etc.  Budget for things that you need and want (it will make you appreciate what you have), stay out of as much debt as you can (a home, and school are okay debt, sometimes a car is ok too.  Give 10% of your money back to God, you will be able to do more with the 90% than you ever could with 100%, I know it doesn't make sense, but try it...you will see, it ALWAYS works.  Be aware of others around you and the needs that they may have.  Give to them anonymously (when possible), of whatever it is they need, that you are able; time, friendship, love, money, kindness, the gospel of Jesus Christ, a smile.
11. Get as much good education as you can.  I define this as education that will assist you in earning enough to live on for your families needs and some of their/your wants.  There are lots of great things to learn about, and if you really want to learn about history, social sciences, and underwater basketweaving or other things that may be fascinating but not pay much, do it after you already have a solid career, it is great to go back to school to learn as much as you can.  Learn about God too, study His scriptures, do this always.  Learn of His mysteries that He is willing to share with you.  Pray to Him and develop a true friendship with your Savior, be more like both of them are, you cannot do that unless you know who they are.  Always be learning, whether in school or outside of it, gain as many experiences as you can in this life for they will carry with you to the next and bless you there as well.  Choose good and great books to read, read a lot, the authors can be amazing mentors to assist you to get what they have and be as they are.
12. The world is becoming more "loose" with its moral code, we choose to follow Christ and His example.  We do not make fun of what the world chooses to do, but we participate in the higher road of moral conduct, even if they mock us and make fun of us.  We choose certain ways to live because it is what we want to do, at anytime we could choose to drop our standards but then what have we gained?  In fact we have lost more than we possibly could have gained. The definition of integrity: is doing what is best even when there is no one else to see what we are choosing to do.
13. Whatever happens, I want you to know that I am proud of you.  I know that you will choose to be great if you will remember who you are.  I love you more than life itself.

These are a few of the things that I have learned, I would hope that you would be willing to learn from my experiences rather than choosing to re-learn them the hard way (the way I learned them).  I know that as you follow this counsel that it will bring true happiness.

So living and learning is what it is all about, hopefully we each grow.  I love you and hope you know this.  I haven't been the perfect dad, but striving to be a better dad all the time.  I may add more to this later, but for now, this is enough.